USATODAY.com - Cruise runs seminars to prepare for baby-to-be
Wow. What a concept. Space cadet Tom Cruise offering his services as an expert on having babies (making them he leaves to someone else, hopefully someone with a dick).

This is so wrong on so many levels. While his manic smile works great in his movie roles where a manic smile is called for, how would you like to stare into it while trying to concentrate on your counting and breathing? Wouldn't you be tempted to start counting his teeth? And we all know of his compassion towards Brooke Shields for her post-partum depression. Who better to teach birthing techniques than a dictatorial martinet who has all the sensitivity of a bitch wolverine? Katie Holmes phone home!